BULLRUN 2014: Team Real Kosher Ready to Rally On!
Team Members: Michael Ventorino & Scott Martin
Vehicle: 2013 Frozen Black BMW M5 with Dinan Exhaust and a host of electronics
Rally History: Michael Ventorino began his Bullrun adventure with us last year in Montreal. Hailing from New York City, this real-estate professional drove his frozen black BMW M5 from Montreal to New Orleans on what was one epic adventure. Michael describes his rally weapon, a BMW M5, as a pretty low-key car compared to the others on the rally. “It’s a blacked out super-sedan with room in the back for hitchhikers,” he said. Last year, Michael rallied with his friend, Mark. But this year he’s bringing along Scott Martin, a kosher-style restaurant owner. Team Real Kosher may not be looking to battle it out for the Navigator Award, but they’re looking to have the best times of their lives!
Here’s the inside scoop on Team Real Kosher:
1. What is your team name, who makes up your team, and what roles will each team member play?
· Team Real Kosher is comprised of Michael Ventorino, a real estate professional, and Scott Martin, a kosher style delicatessen owner. We will both be sharing driving / navigating duties, although Scott didn’t feel obliged to tell me until last week that he can’t navigate worth a damn! So I guess it’s Scott & me driving and me & BMW Assist Concierge navigating.
2. Which car will you be driving? Please describe any modifications you’ve done.
· 2013 Frozen Black BMW M5. Pretty stock except for a Dinan exhaust. Built in Passport 9500ci radar detector & laser interceptor. GPS enabled HomePatrol-1 scanner.
3. What makes it your best vehicle choice for Bullrun 2014?
· It’s NOT, my wife’s Alpina B7 is, but she won’t let me drive it 3,000 miles… She won’t let me drive it period! You crash ONE car into the house while parking and you never live it down! The M5 is pretty low-key compared to the other cars on the rally. It’s a blacked out super-sedan with room in the back for hitchhikers ( looking at you DJ Giggle) and all the creature comforts you could need for 50+ hours of driving. It also is pretty nondescript, if ever someone were to call in a complaint to the highway patrol. Oh, and balls out power, it can keep up with anything on the road.
4. What is your team’s Bullrun 2014 strategy?
· Strategy? Follow the GPS, let Scott drive morning legs when I’m hung-over, and have fun. I’d like to place a little better than I did last year on a leg or two, but we are both really just in it to have a good time with a good group of guys. Our strategy last year, and it helped us avoid ALL tickets, is not to piss off the NON-rally drivers on the road. That and let the interlopers in the tricked out hoopties be your rabbits. “Oh, you have a spoiler on your bondo’ed out ’95 Civic Si? You must be a racecar driver. Please, go ahead of me!”
5. Going off last year, tell me about the in-car dynamic.
· Last year’s rally had Mark the Electrician as the co-pilot / navigator. Mark was a lovable “token old guy” who was crippled with a back injury the night before Bullrun 2013 (he needed surgery when we got home). He could barely WALK, let alone get out of the car and RUN for a route card or Philly Cheesesteak. The in-car dynamic was one me wanting to strangle him for not knowing how to use an iPad. Mark also had the annoying habit of getting on the phone with 5 miles left in a leg, when you needed him to concentrate MOST on navigating. He was a good driver though. I am not the best at being a passenger, especially in my own car, in the rain, tear-assing through the mountains of Virginia & West Virginia. The running joke was that Mark only got to drive in the rain and when I was hung-over. If I feel half as comfortable with Scott behind the wheel, I will be lucky. I just hope his navigating skills aren’t as piss-poor as he claims.
6. What is your top Bullrun moment?
· I know a lot of people have said the armed road block with cops in body armor and M-16’s drawn, but my favorite moment was just AFTER that. When they released a convoy of lunatics in super-cars, pissed off about the leads they had just squandered, into the mountains of West Virginia! This is just AFTER Dudley convinced all the officers he was “Rally Security” and making sure NO shenanigans were going on on their roads. Jockeying for position on narrow two lain mountain roads was insane!
7. What is your favorite city or checkpoint Bullrun has visited?
· Pulling into NOLA last year with a 100 mph police escort had to be one of the coolest things ever! We had a bottle of Jonny Blue that we passed around to everyone (except Dudley,) champagne was popped, Mark the Electrician drove the car for Team Texas so they could do their “Celebrant” thang… It was just the PERFECT capper to the week. The party was CRAZY after with so many Bullrunners being from there. I couldn’t believe, when we stumbled home at 3:00 am how the crowds were still out in force. The city is just INSANE: the people, the nightlife, the architecture, the food, everything. Loading my car onto the transporter they had to make room by pulling a DeLorean out. I made the joke “Hop in, we’re going back to 8 days ago and doing this all over!” I am lucky to be able to do just that THIS year!
8. List three items that you cannot rally without.
· Extra key (or an extra door/license plate if you’re Jan Cilliers). A smooth Bronx accent for tawkin’ your way out of tickets in East Bumblefuck, WV. Plenty of bail money, just in case.
9. With Bullrun being so competitive, how will you try to stay one step ahead of the other teams?
· We’re just out to have a good time, we’re not really that competitive. It would be nice to hoist a trophy on June 15th though… Maybe I’ll slash everyone’s tires of something…
10. If you could give your team one Bullrun award (fictional or real,) what would it be and why?
· “Biggest Dicks”… That would be an award that you display prominently.