About:                     

I'm a car geek. I was born (not concieved) in the backseat of a Chevy, on the way to the hospital, in 1974. I grew up reading Hot Rod, I respect the old iron, and know the roots. I love the mechanics of cars, and I love driving.... any kind of driving. Even better with some rocking tunes. Some people vacation at the beach, some people go skiing... I like blasting across the country in a fast car with the stereo cranked. But I ain't pulling bank, so I have to go about it the smart way. Years of being a computer geek paid off, I did my research, and now I'm learning the ins and outs of computer engine tuning.

I love to stretch my brain and learn something new! I like doing things my own way, and sometimes it looks like chaos to other people... but I always have a goal in mind.I can adjust plans on the fly, and I come up with the most creative solutions when I'm under the gun. I don't like stress, but if you give me a problem, I won't sleep until I've figured it out.

I'm 35, the father of 4 kids, married 12 years and counting. I plan on taking my kids across the country by car when they're old enough. I'm teaching them to enjoy life to the fullest! All four are homeschooled by me and my wife.

Mission Statement:

"We're on a mission from God."

About My Team:

Saturn is the bastard stepchild of GM. Import guys don't think they're imports, and domestic guys don't consider them domestics. Despite a colorful racing heritage in the brand's short existance, most people have no clue they are capable cars. If you do your research, you can maximize the car's potential for very little money.

My car shares most of its parts with the new Cobalt turbo (which is considered one of the best handling sport compacts ever made). The Saturn Ion Red Line was the direct result of Saturn's 3-year winning streak in the Cannonball One Lap of America rally from 2001-2003. They made less than 6,000 of them, and only about 1000 with the factory "Competiton Package" option.

I'm a goofy, funny, wacko guy who loves driving and working on cars. I'm also a part-time musician, and build custom computers for fun. I love having good, clean fun, and I think true friends are extremely valuable and rare. I've spent all of my spare time learning to drive my car to it's limits, and I know it inside and out. I do all my own wrenching and tuning on it.

My co-driver is yet to be determined.

-Jeff

Pics:         View All

Videos:         View All

Ion Redline vs. Cone Runners!

Autocross in the new Ion Redline

First attempt at Bracket Racing

Comments:

	Thanks, Dean! Things have been busy for me, but I'm trying to stay in touch with the Bullrun world. Saving up my time and money to make the Saturn even more Bullrun-able!
By FunkyStickman, 10/30/09 - 12:44
	Ive finally happy to see a Sat on here..... Cool vids man.....
By deansilverado, 09/07/09 - 22:14
	Hey, Rob! Just been busy, working, doing projects, dumb stuff. Waiting for the Rally to start!
By FunkyStickman, 07/10/09 - 13:54
	Stickman, see you're online! Where you been?
By Mopar Rob, 07/08/09 - 20:45
	New best time in the Saturn is 14.29, haven't upped the boost yet!
By FunkyStickman, 07/08/09 - 6:43
	Thanks, Rob! I can't believe I hadn't added you to my friends list yet... dude, I freaking love Mopars, especially "high impact" ones, if you catch my drift! I gave my dad a set of Super Bee stripes to put on his Ram pickup years ago... before the factory was doing it!
By FunkyStickman, 05/27/09 - 7:34
	HAPPY BIRTHDAY youngster!
By Mopar Rob, 05/26/09 - 15:03
	yah team saturn. hope to see u on season 3. good to meet u bro
By teamsick2k, 05/18/09 - 18:47
	Okay, I just replaced the intercooler pump, should be going back to the dragstrip soon! Looking to beat my best time of 14.5 with a stock motor.
By FunkyStickman, 05/17/09 - 11:09
	Yup, I am at the Thibodaux Wal-mart cruises every month (second Saturday of the month). I'm usually parked in the front, look for the only Saturn there! :)
By FunkyStickman, 05/17/09 - 11:06
	Yep Sure do!! I go to Thibodaux quite often. Hey do you go to the cruise night at the walmart parking lot?
By Chuckster, 05/15/09 - 7:03
	Thanks! I love the Blues Brothers. And yes, the Ion is much faster than an S-series car, it's quieter and bigger too (I used to have an SL). Thanks again!
By FunkyStickman, 05/15/09 - 6:18
	Love your avatar, and I'd really like to see a Saturn on season 3 - I had fun with my SC2 but yours kicks butt!
By S2K Guy, 05/13/09 - 0:04
	Co-driver is home!! Video production will start immediately. The Ion ran the quarter in 14.5 @ 100MPH stock, with a busted intercooler pump. Better times will be coming soon.
By FunkyStickman, 04/28/09 - 7:35
	Cool ion man! What does it run in the 1/4 mile?
By mike ansley, 04/18/09 - 20:45
	Auto-X season has already started. I will hit a few events this summer, and try to go to the drag strip again soon. Also, my co-driver will be home in two weeks... audition video will get shot ASAP.
By FunkyStickman, 04/12/09 - 17:30
	What's up Team Tupperware? You've been quiet lately. When does your auto-x season start?
By Team DSM, 04/12/09 - 5:46
	I haven't talked with you in a while and just wanted to say hi. How's the DAD.
By Aaron, 04/07/09 - 19:59
	its gonna take forever for me to save up enough for it haha. it'll be worth it for sure though.
By tikkiman, 03/26/09 - 18:13
	but supercharger would DQ me from stock class in SCCA :(...but more power...
By tikkiman, 03/26/09 - 10:40
	For those who were wondering (all two of you) the Ion Red Line has EPS, or Electronic Power Steering. No hydraulics. It also uses throttle-by-wire. For a cheap compact car, it's got some pretty slick features.
By FunkyStickman, 03/26/09 - 6:49
	Huh?
By FunkyStickman, 03/23/09 - 13:38
	Dood u still goin to up the eps, screw that dick!
By GuNNeR, 03/20/09 - 16:50
	Cork: I've got a full tuning software suite for the Ion (works on most GM LS-series engines, in fact). All you have to do to move the rev and/or speed limiter is pull up the file, change the numbers in the box, and re-flash the car's ECU, takes about 60 seconds. Stock speed limiter is set at 155, now it's around 185. The rev/RPM limiter I can set all the way up to 8K RPMs, but the stock valvetrain starts to float at about 7500. Check out my photo gallery for some pics of the tuning software!
By FunkyStickman, 03/13/09 - 6:39
	I have to ask this.... How did you get around the rev limiter??? i'm just curious.
By Cork, 03/10/09 - 20:28
	Thanks, Tuner... just remember, the casting crew looks at contestants first, cars second. I plan on giving 'em hell with the Red Line, though! And yeah, we had the suicide doors back in '97! Gotta love it. Polymer Power, dude!
By FunkyStickman, 03/04/09 - 6:09
	By the way, is it just me or is it the most awesome thing in the world to have rear suicide doors come standard? Mazda likes to rep that they invented that with the RX-8. We know who had that first. Lol.
By DomesticTuner, 03/04/09 - 1:45
	Brother you dominate. The Redlines are impressive machines. I totally respect owning it to drive it. I've taken some advanced driving courses and it totally lets me take it to the limit. When I would take on my friends they all have Trans Ams. I can still beat those V8s off the line and handle circles around them. Since you got the super there's no doubt you'd get picked over me to be in Bullrun but you better believe I'm gonna root for you the whole way. Btw, having her in black is the tasteful call. You truly are a kindred spirit when it comes to loving the constantly underestimated IONs. Keep rockin' brother, you rule.
By DomesticTuner, 03/04/09 - 1:25
	Currently stock, 210HP. I'm going to go to a stage 2/3 equivalent (using non-GM, but equivalent parts). Stage 2 adds 42# injectors, and a smaller 3.15" blower pulley and a retune. Stage 3 uses a smaller 2.9" pulley, upgrades the intercooler plumbing, and more tuning. This puts it right at 280HP, should run mid-13's or better and still get 30 MPG on cruise control. It's a total sleeper! Total cost of parts (not including tuning) is about $300 if you shop around.
By FunkyStickman, 01/27/09 - 21:14
	hey what stage red ine is it their are several packages if i remember right. me and trucker worked at a saturn dealership together and i never thought to ask till i hadtalked to him
By dgenr8, 01/26/09 - 21:16
	Thanks, trucker! I bought it to drive it!
By FunkyStickman, 01/26/09 - 15:47
	hey man i like your car. i've worked on a couple but mostly belonging to the people that bought them for the image. not the fun. glad to see someone actually driving one
By super_trucker_04, 01/22/09 - 18:54
	Kick ass picture! would love to see it happen on Bullrun.
By Aaron, 01/07/09 - 19:11
	Thanks, man. I'm having a good time! Not quite as cool as your profile, but I'm getting there... :)
By FunkyStickman, 01/06/09 - 15:02
	Like that your filling up that profile!
By Aaron, 01/05/09 - 18:20

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My Ride:

Make: Saturn
Model: Ion Red Line
Year: 2006
Color: Black
Engine Size: 2.0 L
HP/TQ: 230/220
Max Speed: 150+ (limiter removed)
0-60: 6 seconds
MPG: 30+

Team Setup:

Team: Team Saturn
My Role: Driver
My Team Member:

My Biggest Strength:

Smarts, and going the distance when it counts the most! Old school meets new school.

Friends: